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Aktuality - Muži
Napsal uživatel Vojta   
Čtvrtek, 28 Duben 2016 08:34

Na každýho jednou dojde! I tobě se to může stát! Sedíš si tak po zápase ve svý oblíbený čajovně, v klidu srkáš oolong a najednou to přijde jako....no jako něco děsnýho, třeba zápas v Zamilovanym hájku. Nejhorší je, jak nečekaně a bez varování to udeří. Vlčák (Luciša, Pafča, Standa, Dr.Zoidberg..) zvedne oči od šálku horké čokolády a naprosto klidně to na tebe vybalí: "Píšeš článek ze sobotnich zápasů." Krve by se v tobě nedořezal! Já? Proč zrovna sakra já?  Proč zrovna teď, když se mám soustředit na 487.díl Ordinace v růžové zahradě (zápas Litvínov-Slavie, písemku ze základů sociálních věd, sedění na gauči a pití kakaa...)?!

Chvíli přemýšlíš o emigraci, ale protože se domluvíš maximálně na Slovensku a to ještě jenom někde, zavrhuješ to. Pak se rozhodneš skončit se softem, ale je ti líto právě zaplacených příspěvků. Ve zmatku se aspoň pokusíš o chabou obranu (já už to psal předloni, vdává se mi babička, narodil se mi dědeček, ...), ale nakonec kapituluješ a se sklopenou hlavou rezignovaně účtuješ se životem.. A pak v křeči začínáš psát něco mezi Honzíkovou cestou (kvalita) a Zvoníkem u Matky boží (zábava, stručnost a čas dodání hotového díla).

V zájmu zachování mentálního zdraví čtenáře jsem se proto rozhodl sepsat pár rad pro začínajícího spisvatele:

  1. Pamatuj, že to možná bude číst i někdo, kdo tam nebyl ( znáš to, někdo se překlikne a je to). I lidi , které zmiňuješ, by mělo být možné poznat ( „Profesor Orangutan se vrtěl u tyče jako Travolta” může být srozumitelné pro toho kdo tam byl. Ty ostatní potřebují Kelletiho identifikaci malinko podrobněji..). Uznávám ovšem, že jsou situace, kdy to není vhodné, co kdyby to omylem četla drahá polovička, že..
  2. Strohý popis nikoho nezajímá ( ve 3.směně odpal, so, so,hb, soupeř hit,bb,so,pb,dvb t2,O2 TV, FTVS, SRPŠ, no prostě super mač, nebýt našich 19 so a 17 errorů, mohli jsme i vyhrát). To si můžu přečíst na stránkách svazu, případně v zápisu..
  3. Článek nemusí být pravdivý, hlavně když je vtipný.
  4. Lidi co tam byli si rádi přečtou o sobě, neboj se je zmínit ( viz. bod 3.). Zmiňuj pro jistotu hlavně ty, který případně přepereš, nebo jim aspoň utečeš.
  5. 10 vět není článek, ale perex ( ne Tome, 11 taky ne) (Všimněte si, jak se držím bodu 4). Minimální délka musí laskavému čtenáři aspoň zaplnit čas při klidném sobotním kakání.
  6. Je fajn přidat i popis dění mimo hřiště (např. Luciši popis návštěvy Deprese ve mě vzbudil nutkavou touhu se tam jednou v životě podívat)
  7. Nikdy neuděláš chybu, když pochválíš Předsedu ( Pafču, mě, prostě toho, kdo tomu šéfuje)
  8. Nikdy neuděláš chybu, když pochválíš sebe, jenom pak musíš unést vlnu kritiky od těch, co prostě nejsou tak dobrý aby stáli za zmínku (případně jsou silnější a rychlejší, opět viz bod 4). Ať si napíšou vlastní článek, žejo? Jestli's hrál mizerně a bojíš se, že si toho všimli i ostatní, pochval Žufku..

To je pro dnešek vše a příště se můžete těšit na úvod do zakládání kompostu (RNDr. Macin L., Csc), dále pak základy filosofie (RSDr.Člověk T.) a základy internetového trollingu (Ing.Opavský M.)

Vojta samozvanýspisovatel

Komentářů
Přidat Nový Hledat
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Předsedu pochval svojeho, ne že nějakej dement bude chválit toho kreténa
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Keletiho jsem poznal i bez napovedy
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